你 在 哪 裡

你 在 哪 裡

I have been listening to this song for the last two days, repeatedly. It brings back memories of my childhood. This is the story of me and my dogs, all named Bo.

My father was a farmer who raised chickens in the New Territories. We used to keep many dogs for safety purposes. During my childhood, dogs were my best friends. I named them all Bo.

Whenever I returned home either from schools or from shopping, I just called out loudly: "Bo! Bo!" They then all rushed towards me greeting me with great passions, jumping, licking me and wagging their tails vigorously. Sure they were all so lovely.

When I was not happy or miserable, I sat and did nothing. It appeared that they understood my moods quite well and they then also just stayed by my side and tried to cheer me up or tried to comfort me. They uttered condoling sound telling me not to worry. I could feel their concerns. Yes, they were so warm and real which eased my pains a lot.

When I was happy I would yell out loud and ran wildly in the fields. My Bos would never fail me. They followed me and shared my joys. They were great and they would never forsake me, they would never betray me. Oh, How I miss them!

All my dearest Bos were of different origins. Most of them were Chows, two of them were Japanese dogs and one was a terrier. I picked up the two Japanese doggies from the roadside. They were abandoned when they were still just very young. I fed them with milks until they could manage to eat by themselves.

Then the time came when the Government had to conduct the resumption of land for modern development of the city. My family had to move to a nearby housing estate where no dogs were allowed. We discussed the problem but there were no solutions. It seemed that my Bos realized our difficulty and they solved the problem their ways, tragically.

When the date for removal came closer, my Bos went missing one by one. Some just vanished into the air without being found. Some were knocked down and killed by cars. Some were killed by insecticide. They were all just gone within a very short period of time.

The most unforgettable scene was that a black and yellow Bo, being the last to leave me, was also poisoned. He, however, managed to return home to say goodbye to me. I could never forget our last eye contacts. I knew that he tried very hard to come back to me for the last goodbye.

I cried and cried for a very long period of time. The pain is still here. The separation pain is so great that I have since then dare not keep any dogs at all, fearing to experiencing the same pain again. That was my first experience in my life feeling the pain of separation. It just hurt too much. In fact the pain has never really gone away. Even now when I mention about them, my tears still run down my cheeks.

Yet, pain is a great teacher. It teaches us patience, humility and empathy toward others. It teaches us that we are alive and it puts life in perspective. When we are in real pain, we know how unimportant are most of the things that we worry and fret about. We can learn to value the times that we are not in pain. We learn to cherish what we have now.

My Bos, I love you all forever!

( 2001-09-24 )

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